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diff --git a/posts/2026-04-30-stardust-melody.php b/posts/2026-04-30-stardust-melody.php index 4c92e0f..68f2cd1 100644 --- a/posts/2026-04-30-stardust-melody.php +++ b/posts/2026-04-30-stardust-melody.php @@ -1,63 +1,61 @@ <h1 id="stardust-melody">Stardust Melody</h1> <p class="description"> -My third installment in Nat1's <a href="https://nat1publishing.com/wwoo/">Write, Wrong, or Otherwise</a> anthology! Stardust Melody follows two ghosts through the streets of Brooklyn as they try to piece together who they are and why they wander. This story is only lightly edited. +My third installment in Nat1's <a href="https://nat1publishing.com/wwoo/">Write, Wrong, or Otherwise</a> anthology! Stardust Melody follows two ghosts through the streets of Brooklyn as they try to piece together who they are and why they wander. Edited after posting on 2026-05-13. </p> <p>The gray monoliths of the buildings rose up like towering rock -formations. With the recent downpour they sprung from pools of sooty and -tepid water laced with asphalt, soot, and trapped garbage. The rain -stopped hours ago, but with no sunlight to dry the boulevards, the row -of streetlamps cast an eerie reflection of light which glowed up from -the slick avenue. Here, the soft glow of the storefront window mixed -with the reflection and filled the atmosphere with a warm yellow -glow.</p> +formations. With the recent downpour, they sprang from pools of tepid +water laced with asphalt, soot, and trapped garbage. The rain stopped +hours ago, but with no sunlight to dry the boulevards, the row of +streetlamps cast eerie beams that reflected off the slick avenue. Here, +the soft luminescence of the storefront window mixed with the reflection +filled the atmosphere with a warm yellow glow.</p> <p>Despite the light’s warmth, Frances felt cold. She was always cold these days. Cold for as long as she could remember, honestly. Unless she thought for too long about how cold she felt, at which point she invariably didn’t feel like anything. Ignoring whether she was cold or -not she was sure of one thing: she was thirsty. Her lips craved the +not, she was sure of one thing: she was thirsty. Her lips craved the slick rim of a cool glass, her nose an acrid and fruity fragrance, and her head a warm, numbing, fuzzy sensation.</p> <p>She licked her lips and tried to concentrate on the window. It -showcased a group of mannequins, all posing in partywear outfits. They -stiffly depicted what surely would be a great night on the town, despite -never embarking with their chaperones to go anywhere. Frances was sure -she fit right in with them. Her silvery dress swished as she shifted her -weight from one leg to another. Her pale, pallid hand absent-mindedly +showcased a group of mannequins, all posing in partywear. They stiffly +depicted what surely would be a great night on the town. Despite never +embarking with their chaperones to go anywhere, Frances was sure she +would fit right in with them. Her silvery dress swished as she shifted +her weight from one leg to another. Her pale, palid hand absent-mindedly twirled the pearls of her necklace. It trembled slightly. <em>Ignore it. -Just keep ignoring it, that was the key.</em></p> -<p>Ignoring it was always easier said than done. The party wear in the -window transported her in time and place to the warm and bright ones of +Just keep ignoring it; that was the key.</em></p> +<p>Ignoring it was always easier said than done. The partywear in the +window transported her in time and place to the warm and bright tones of a piano, the <em>chicker-chicker</em> of a mixer, and the sharp clinking of glasses.</p> <p>Luke intruded on her thoughts and attention, as he was wont to do, plodding up and down the sidewalk a short distance away. As he drew -nearer his steps became loud stomps. <em>Little terror’s probably +nearer, his steps became loud stomps. <em>Little terror’s probably seeking attention again</em>. His arms were crossed over his black -suspenders. Under his gray paper boy cap his rounded face was turned up +suspenders. Under his gray paperboy cap, his rounded face was turned up into a discernible frown, clearly communicating a growing, childish impatience with the current night’s events.</p> <p>“Are we done yet?” he called back over his shoulder as he turned, continuing his march. It was always the same question.</p> -<p>Frances rolled her eyes. After less than an hour of peace the fantasy -was broken and he tore her back to reality. Their reality. <em>Oh -goodie, here we go again.</em></p> -<p>“It’s still my turn,” she replied with a sigh, “besides you still +<p>Frances rolled her eyes. After less than an hour of peace, the +fantasy was broken, and he tore her back to reality. Their reality. +<em>Oh, goodie, here we go again.</em></p> +<p>“It’s still my turn,” she replied with a sigh. “Besides, you still haven’t paid me back for the extra time you got yesterday.”</p> -<p>“Hmpf! Your turns are always so booooooring!”</p> +<p>“Hmpf! Your turns are always so <em>boring!“</em></p> <p>Surely his mother spoiled him. “Hush now, be still.”</p> -<p>Luke un-crossed his arms, and then immediately balled his fists and -re-crossed them. He resumed his sentinel’s watch patrolling the -streaked, gum-spotted sidewalk. The little terror was much more -challenging to ignore for very long. Frances re-trained her eyes on the -suits.</p> -<p>The brat stopped his march long enough to add, “what do you want to -look at breeches for anyway, you’re a girl!” It was more of a statement, -a jab, than a question.</p> +<p>Luke uncrossed his arms and then immediately balled his fists and +recrossed them. He resumed his sentinel’s watch patrolling the streaked, +gum-spotted sidewalk. The little terror was much more challenging to +ignore for very long. Frances retrained her eyes on the suits.</p> +<p>The brat stopped his march long enough to add, “What do you want to +look at breeches for anyway, you’re a girl!” It was more of a +statement—a jab—than a question.</p> <p>“Oh, what would you know about ladies’ fashion, you’re what, eight?”</p> -<p>He stuck out his tongue, re-crossed his arms once more, and shuffled +<p>He stuck out his tongue, recrossed his arms once more, and shuffled off into the middle of the avenue. She followed the troublemaker with the corner of her eye as he began to walk a figure eight through the pavement, the intersection of his march taking him repeatedly through a @@ -67,13 +65,13 @@ efforts, the puddle remained still and undisturbed.</p> <p>The stomping continued to test Frances’ patience. It drew her kicking and screaming back from her fantasy. She wheeled around on her heel, her hands on her hips.</p> -<p>“You shouldn’t play in the street, you know!” she admonished, nearly +<p>“You shouldn’t play in the street, you know,” she admonished, nearly raising her finger at him just like her mother used to do to her. -<em>What would mother have thought if she could see me babysitting -now.</em></p> +<em>What would Mother have thought if she could see me babysitting +now?</em></p> <p>“You know it won’t make a hill ‘o’ beans difference. Can’t rightly die twice, can I?”</p> -<p><em>I only wish.</em> For a brief moment she paused and wondered +<p><em>I only wish.</em> For a brief moment, she paused and wondered whether the kid was right. Could they die again? She didn’t want to think about it. Thinking about it made her thirsty. What she wanted was a stiff drink, soft music, and a warm arm around her shoulder telling @@ -82,60 +80,60 @@ her it’d all be okay. Things she was certain she’d never have again.</p> his grimy shoes hard against the icelike reflection of the streetlights.</p> <p>“You know that’ll do nothing,” Frances counseled.</p> -<p>“It will too! Yesterday – or was it the day before – well anyway, -yesterday I got it to make a ripple. If I try really hard maybe I can +<p>“It will too! Yesterday—or was it the day before—well anyway, +yesterday I got it to make a ripple. If I try really hard, maybe I can learn to do it again.”</p> <p>Frances <em>tsked</em> and twirled away from him again. She tried not to think about their situation, but it was too hopeless to ignore. She didn’t know much about ghosts. She wasn’t much of a reader, or a religious type for that matter. She did read about the afterlife in a tabloid once, come to think of it. It had gotten passed around all her -girlfriends and the gossip alone made it worthwhile.</p> +girlfriends, and the gossip alone made it worthwhile.</p> <p>She remembered more of it now. There was an article in there on witchcraft, voodoo, that sort of thing. Talk about curses and how they always came in threes. Supposing there was any truth to that slop, she figured she was looking at three curses right now.</p> <p>Firstly, the two of them were dead. She was sure of that, but she -wasn’t sure what kind of dead. Best she could figure she was a ghost, -and a right smart-looking one at that, thankyouverymuch.</p> +wasn’t sure what kind of dead. Best she could figure, she was a ghost, +and a right smart-looking one at that, <em>thankyouverymuch</em>.</p> <p>Second, they hadn’t a clue how either of them died. Try as she might, -the only thing she could be sure of was it had been dark and foggy. +the only thing she could be sure of was that it had been dark and foggy. She’d been driving up the avenues. Big deal, it was not unheard of for Brooklyn to be foggy or dark, or for people to die in car crashes.</p> <p>Finally, she was tethered to the little terror. They tried -everything. Nothing worked, they could never get more than about fifty -paces away from each other before some invisible rope went taught and -kept them together. She clasped her hands together to stop them from -shaking. That was the greatest mystery of all. She was so sure, positive -she had never met Luke before. She couldn’t remember anything about him. -Why’d she have to get stuck with him?</p> +everything. Nothing worked; they could never get more than about fifty +paces apart before an invisible rope went taut and kept them together. +She clasped her hands together to stop them from shaking. That was the +greatest mystery of all. She was so sure, positive, she had never met +Luke before. She couldn’t remember anything about him. Why’d she have to +get stuck with him?</p> <p>To top it all off, not a living soul could hear or see them. To the best of her knowledge, Frances was trapped with the plodding soldier for -eternity. She glanced back at the partywear, trying to imagine somewhere -– anywhere other than where she was. Instead, she sighed. Surely, no -amount of concentration would bring back the daydream.</p> +eternity. She glanced back at the partywear, trying to imagine +somewhere—anywhere—other than where she was. Instead, she sighed. +Surely, no amount of concentration would bring back the daydream.</p> <p>She unclasped her hands and dusted off her dress habitually, like she -always did when she felt stir-crazy and it was time to move. Turning to -Luke, she acquiesced, “alright, it’s your turn.”</p> -<p>“Oh whoopee!” Luke forgot all about his attempts at splashing and -jumped up, beaming up with his round face. “Oh this is gonna be swell, +always did when she felt stir-crazy, and it was time to move. Turning to +Luke, she acquiesced, “Alright, it’s your turn.”</p> +<p>“Oh, whoopee!” Luke forgot all about his attempts at splashing and +jumped up, beaming with his round face. “Oh, this is gonna be swell, just you wait. I wanna go to Luna Park!”</p> <p>“Luna what?”</p> <p>“The park, you know, the one with the airship and the moon and the -electric lights,” he paused to search her face with recognition, “you +electric lights,” he paused to search her face with recognition. “You know, Coney Island.”</p> -<p>Frances’ gut dropped and she let out a groan. “Luke that’s too far +<p>Frances’ gut dropped, and she let out a groan. “Luke, that’s too far away, it’ll be hours.”</p> -<p>“I’ll just borrow a little time, pleeeease,” he pleaded.</p> -<p>“You already owe me time. No chance, pick something else,” she turned +<p>“I’ll just borrow a little time, <em>please</em>,” he pleaded, +managing to turn please from a one-syllable word into five.</p> +<p>“You already owe me time. No chance. Pick something else,” she turned her nose up to make the decision final.</p> <p>“No fair, you never do what I wanna do,” he protested, stamping his feet.</p> -<p>“If you wanna go so bad then go by yourself,” she retorted, her nose +<p>“If you wanna go so bad, then go by yourself,” she retorted, her nose lifting even higher.</p> <p>He looked deflated and more plaintive, his eyes softening in his -round face.</p> -<p>“You know I can’t go by myself, don’t be so mean.”</p> +round face. “You know I can’t go by myself, don’t be so mean.”</p> <p>A pang of guilt right to the heart. She pushed past it, satisfied that she had finally placed him squarely in a state where he was willing to behave. Her throat felt dry again. She swept in for the kill.</p> @@ -149,59 +147,61 @@ in return.”</p> <p>The twerp was energized and vigorously nodded as he said, “Yeah, sure, anything!”</p> <p>“I want to go to a club. But not just any club. The Jade Bird has a -late night shindig I used to go to. They have music, dancing, gin, and -other <em>adults</em>,” she emphasized <em>dults</em>, “We go right -after Coney Island and the whole time we’re there I don’t want to see -you. Not a peep. If you wanna go then say yes.”</p> +late-night shindig I used to go to. They have music, dancing, gin, and +other <em>adults</em>,” she emphasized <em>dults</em>. “We go right +after Coney Island, and the whole time we’re there, I don’t want to see +you. Not a peep. If you wanna go, then say yes.”</p> <p>Luke scrunched his face up in thought, but it must not have been a hard decision because he hurriedly replied, “Deal!” and skipped off down the avenue. As the distance grew, Francis felt the familiar tugging sensation in her gut. Compelled to move faster to keep up with him, she chastised him for running and implored him to slow down.</p> +<hr/> <p>This rubber-banding continued for what felt like an hour. Maybe it -was two? Either way Frances was sure if she could feel her feet that -they’d be on fire working her way all across Brooklyn to hit the end of +was two? Either way, Frances was sure that if she could feel her feet, +they’d be on fire, working her way all across Brooklyn to hit the end of Surf Avenue. People, living people, began to fill the streets. The -closer they walked the more they saw. Men in hats and white shirts long -rid of their work ties escorted ladies in short, summery dresses and -heels. Invariably, many of the couples toted along leaning, tugging -children, some wearing shorts and collared shirts while others wore -narrow suspenders much like Luke’s. <em>Just what I need</em>.</p> +closer they walked, the more they saw. Men in hats and white shirts, +long since rid of their work ties, escorted ladies in short, summery +dresses and heels. Invariably, many of the couples toted along, leaning, +tugging children, some wearing shorts and collared shirts. In contrast, +others wore narrow suspenders much like Luke’s. <em>Just what I +need</em>.</p> <p>Finally, they walked under the large, red entrance sign welcoming -them to Luna Park. Ticket collectors and park attendants paid no -attention to them, at times peering straight through them to greet other -park patrons.</p> +them to Luna Park. Ticket collectors and park attendants paid them no +attention, at times peering straight through them to greet other park +patrons.</p> <p>Frances felt ill at ease walking in without paying. She found she could push the thought away without much effort. She had no money, and -even if she did there’d be nobody who could take it. Either way, she was -pretty sure there should be a discount for ghosts and therefore it was -justified.</p> +even if she did, there’d be nobody who could take it. Either way, she +was pretty sure there should be a discount for ghosts, and therefore it +was justified.</p> <p>Luke seemed not to experience this moral quagmire, skipping his way -into the park. Within, the inky black night sky was disrupted by a star -field of electric lights. At least a million incandescent yellow orbs -were strung this way and that across a great, heart-shaped lagoon +into the park. Within, the inky black night sky was disrupted by a +starfield of electric lights. At least a million incandescent yellow +orbs were strung this way and that across a great, heart-shaped lagoon surrounded on both sides by sculpted white parapets. These were broken -up only by flowery minarets, also in white, decorated lavishly with +only by flowery minarets, also in white, lavishly decorated with scrollwork and little red heart emblems. Every edge and corner of these was equally adorned in that warm, smokeless, man-made fire.</p> -<p>In the dead center of the lagoon a great rectangular tower of +<p>In the dead center of the lagoon, a great rectangular tower of illuminated rose-like medallions jutted up like a beacon, a lighthouse summoning park-goers to its gold palace below.</p> <p>“Chutes first, chutes first!” the brat squealed, sprinting off toward the Shoot-the-Chutes line. He took the steps two at a time, paying no mind to his manners or the other children. Frances swore she could see him pass right through another child once or twice. She trotted to keep -up but it was no use in her dress and heels, and she was barely at the +up, but it was no use in her dress and heels, and she was barely at the foot of the line when he reached the top.</p> <p>“Hey, you behave up there!” she called up, cupping her hands around -her mouth. The other patrons calmly continued to step up and board the -toboggan-shaped boats.</p> +her mouth. The other patrons calmly continued to step aboard the +tabogan-shaped boats.</p> <p>“Oh, gee, this is a biggie,” the terror said, rubbing his hands together as he peered down into the ramp and lagoon below.</p> -<p>A young girl, probably about 10 or just a little older than Luke, was -being helped into one of the boats. As the operator helped lower her -over the gunwale her pink dress fluttered. From her vantage point along -the base of the ride, Frances could see she was adorned head-to-toe in +<p>A young girl, probably about ten or just a little older than Luke, +was being helped into one of the boats. As the operator helped lower her +over the gunwale, her pink dress fluttered. From her vantage point at +the base of the ride, Frances could see she was adorned head to toe in pink: pink shoes, pink bonnet, pink stockings. Another gentleman squatted down in the boat behind her, smiling as they both settled in and gripped the sides of the gunwale.</p> @@ -218,90 +218,90 @@ kids losing their minds to the delight of the chute.</p> <p>The boat shot out into the lagoon on plane, scooting across the surface with a splash, sending up more spray as it glided to the waters’ edge. The operator only gently ruddered it alongside as it bumped into -the dock as the little girl and her escort clapped and cheered. Luke +the dock, and the little girl and her escort clapped and cheered. Luke joined in as they all disembarked with the help of another attendant.</p> <p>Luke turned to the girl in pink and spoke to her directly, “That was -great, oh what a ride. Oh we need to ride that again, let’s get back in +great, oh what a ride. Oh, we need to ride that again. Let’s get back in line.” She was fussing over her bonnet, adjusting the ribbons. “My -name’s Luke by the way. Are you from Brooklyn too?”</p> -<p>The girl, satisfied with her attire gripped the gentleman’s hand and -pointed, squealing, “Daddy, look look!”</p> -<p>Frances’ heart leapt as she followed the little girl’s finger and +name’s Luke, by the way. Are you from Brooklyn, too?”</p> +<p>The girl, satisfied with her attire, gripped the gentleman’s hand and +pointed, squealing, “Daddy, look, look!”</p> +<p>Frances’ heart leaped as she followed the little girl’s finger and witnessed a caravan of elephants slowly loping down the main promenade around the lagoon. Other park goers stared in awe at the parade, mouths agape at the procession of gray beasts, each adorned in red garnets and heart-shaped fez. The elephants would randomly toot their trunks and -flap their ears at passerby.</p> -<p>“Oh neato, so you like elephants huh?” Luke continued his one-sided +flap their ears at passersby.</p> +<p>“Oh, neato, so you like elephants, huh?” Luke continued his one-sided conversation. He gripped his cap and alternated glances at the large, gray animals and the girl in pink. Her eyes remained transfixed on the -elephants only.</p> +elephants.</p> <p>Finally, she interjected, “Daddy, can we ride them, can we?” she squealed again, giving her father a tug on his sleeve. The pair then -began to excitedly start off in the direction of the elephants.</p> +began to excitedly head toward the elephants.</p> <p>Luke called out after them as they went, “Hey, I could go with you! We could be friends!” After another moment, they were gone in the sea of spectators in their slacks and dresses. His arm hung out in midair, grasping almost for a hand to take him away too.</p> <p>Frances leaned with her weight on one leg, rubbing her hands up and -down her arms gently trying to warm herself. She pursed her dry lips, -unsure what to say or do. <em>He knows right? He couldn’t forget, could +down her arms, gently trying to warm herself. She pursed her dry lips, +unsure what to say or do. <em>He knows, right? He couldn’t forget, could he?</em></p> -<p>“Hey um,” she started, immediately unsure how to finish. The rest of +<p>“Hey, um,” she started, immediately unsure how to finish. The rest of the sentence didn’t come. She was terrible with kids. Swallowing, her -mouth suddenly very dry and patchy feeling, she started over, “She can’t -see–”</p> -<p>“Yeah, I know she can’t hear me. Or see me. I just – I dunno, I guess -I just felt like having another kid to play with would be nice is all. +mouth suddenly very dry and patchy, she started over, “She can’t +see—”</p> +<p>“Yeah, I know she can’t hear me. Or see me. I just—I dunno, I guess I +just felt like having another kid to play with would be nice, is all. Then you wouldn’t have to.”</p> <p>A lump grew in Frances’ throat. Just peachy. <em>Now the kid’s got a -moral high ground</em> she thought. She absent-mindedly twirled her +moral high ground,</em> she thought. She absent-mindedly twirled her pearl necklace. She felt shrewd and frumpy. Here was this kid, this child who never got to grow up. Would never get to grow up. Never play with other children on the playground again, never go to school, play sports, or dance at prom.</p> -<p><em>Yeah Frances, real nice piece ‘o’ work, how do you feel now?</em> -<em>You’re a washup, a rich wannabe party animal who’s gonna be -forgotten and go on being annoyed forever. Boo-hoo, here’s a kid who +<p><em>Yeah, Frances, real nice piece ‘o’ work, how do you feel +now?</em> <em>You’re a washup, a rich wannabe party animal who’s gonna +be forgotten and go on being annoyed forever. Boo-hoo, here’s a kid who lost his shot at beginning to live.</em></p> -<p>She swallowed and then clasped and un-clasped her hands. She didn’t -want to drag this out. The time passed quicker when he was having fun. -She still wanted to make the Jade Bird, after all.</p> +<p>She swallowed and then clasped and unclasped her hands. She didn’t +want to drag this out. The time passed more quickly when he was having +fun. She still wanted to make the Jade Bird, after all.</p> <p>“Hey Luke, er, if it makes you feel any better, I could be your -friend. For tonight I mean. Er, I didn’t mean that, I just meant we +friend. For tonight, I mean. Er, I didn’t mean that, I just meant we could hang out for a while.”</p> -<p>Well that sounded real nice. <em>Great job again, Frances.</em> What -did she even sound like?</p> +<p>Well, that sounded really nice. <em>Great job again, Frances.</em> +What did she even sound like?</p> <p>Luke turned around, his hands behind his back. His pale, round face -looked up at hers, puzzled.</p> -<p>“You mean it? You wanna be my friend?”</p> -<p>“Yeah, um, sure I do,” she replied, re-centering herself on both -heels before adding, “Hey look, there’s this um, ride over there,” she +looked up at hers, puzzled. “You mean it? You wanna be my friend?”</p> +<p>“Yeah, um, sure I do,” she replied, recentering herself on both heels +before adding, “Hey, look, there’s this um, ride over there,” she pointed off to the left promenade back toward the entrance. Avoiding eye -contact she continued, “I bet you’d like it. Called the Dragon’s Gorge +contact, she continued, “I bet you’d like it. Called the Dragon’s Gorge or something. Wanna try it?”</p> <p>“Dragon’s Gorge? Sounds cool!” the kid perked up, gripping his suspenders and readying to run before she caught him.</p> -<p>“Actually yes, but we have to walk there. Like friends. No running +<p>“Actually, yes, but we have to walk there. Like friends. No running off.”</p> <p>“Oh yeah, sure.”</p> +<hr/> <p>They began their stroll around the lagoon. Frances crossed her arms and sauntered along, the silvery sequins of her party dress clicking around. Luke fell into line and tried his best to match her pace, -straying a little and then bouncing back whenever he saw a clown, a -store, or something else which grabbed his curiosity.</p> +straying a little, then bouncing back whenever he saw a clown, a store, +or something else that caught his curiosity.</p> <p>Frances let her eyes linger on the tall, many-faceted glazed windows of the Grand Ballroom as they passed by. Within, a small band played jazz standards while a lady in an emerald green halter top sang to a delighted crowd of swishing, bobbing dancers. Tuxedoed arms caressed a menagerie of colorful dresses dotted with beads and furs, despite the heat. Occasionally, a pair of lips would steal a quick kiss when its -owner suspected nobody else may be looking.</p> +owner suspected nobody else might be looking.</p> <p>Frances hated it. The whole scene looked all too familiar. Pair after pair of happy couples dancing the night away with armfuls of each other. Here she was, alone and miserable like so many other dreary New York -evenings. All she needed was a glass and the picture would be +evenings. All she needed was a glass, and the picture would be complete.</p> <p>The emerald singer’s words floated out the double doors, tickling Frances’ ears and enticing her to think about something else. She @@ -310,10 +310,10 @@ allowed herself just a small respite to catch the lyrics.</p> <em>Of the happiness that used to be</em><br /> <em>Soon my eyes will close, soon I’ll find repose</em><br /> <em>And in dreams you’re always near to me</em></p> -<p>Her mind greeted them, pulled them in, and allowed them to push out -her ruminations. She turned them over and over again. The tune lilted -and bounced around in her head until she found herself humming it while -they strolled along the park promenade.</p> +<p>Her mind greeted them, drew them in, and let them push out her +ruminations. She turned them over and over again. The tune lilted and +bounced around in her head until she found herself humming it while they +strolled along the park promenade.</p> <p>The kid drowned it out with, “You must like parties, huh?”</p> <p>The question almost startled her out of the fantasy. “I like ’em, yeah. I like singing mostly, I wanted to be a singer before…” She left @@ -325,225 +325,225 @@ hoping he wouldn’t probe further.</p> <p>Luke continued, “Is that why you wanna go to the club? So you can sing at a party again?”</p> <p>The party slipped back into Frances’ mind. The room was dimly lit and -cloudy with the culmination of two dozen cigarettes, the wisps of which -all conjoined into a great fuzzy approximation of the reality behind -them. The clinking of ice in one ear and the popping of a champagne cork -in the other. Those were the most prominent sounds, a cacophony which -drilled through the soft rags of the tinkling piano. She tasted salt, -little drips flowing down from her eyes, over her nose and onto her -lips. In her fantasy she was crying. <em>Seriously</em>? She wondered -whether she could even cry now.</p> +cloudy, the smoke from two dozen cigarettes all conjoining into a great, +fuzzy approximation of the reality behind them. The clinking of ice in +one ear and the popping of a champagne cork in the other. Those were the +most prominent sounds, a cacophony that drilled through the soft rags of +the tinkling piano. She tasted salt, little drips flowing down from her +eyes, over her nose, and onto her lips. In her fantasy, she was crying. +<em>Seriously</em>? She wondered whether she could even cry now.</p> <p>She shook her head. Luke watched her expectantly, but quietly left -her alone with her thoughts this time. Her hands trembled and her head -felt dull so she tried to change the subject, to think of something else -– anything else.</p> -<p>“How about you kid, anything you wanted to do? You know, before, +her alone with her thoughts this time. Her hands trembled, and her head +felt dull, so she tried to change the subject, to think of something +else—anything else.</p> +<p>“How about you, kid? Anything you wanted to do? You know, before, <em>it</em> happened. What did you wanna do when you grew up?” <em>Nice Frances, that’ll help</em>.</p> <p>“Me?” Luke looked puzzled by the question, then wrapped both his hands around his chin and shouted, “Grow a beard!”</p> <p>She giggled, her nose catching the air in a snort. Luke returned the -laughter, and she found that the more he laughed the more she laughed -back at him. The laughter caught her off guard and the more it continued -the harder it was to stop. Finally, it subsided, and she coughed to -shake the last out of her throat.</p> +laughter, and she found that the more he laughed, the more she laughed +back at him. The laughter caught her off guard, and the more it +continued, the harder it was to stop. Finally, it subsided, and she +coughed to shake the last out of her throat.</p> <p>“That’s it? You want a beard?”</p> -<p>“Oh yeah, I mean I dunno if I can now but I always wanted to grow a -real big white beard. So when I’m an old man I can say ‘hey you -whipper-snappers, you get along ’fore I give you a caning!’” he mimicked -wielding a stick in one hand while the other maintained his fingered -beard.</p> -<p>Hands on her hips, Frances returned, “Wow Mr. Luke, you sure are a +<p>“Oh yeah, I mean I dunno if I can now, but I always wanted to grow a +real big white beard. So when I’m an old man, I can say ‘hey you +whipper-snappers, you get along ’fore I give you a caning!’” he +mimicked, wielding a stick in one hand while the other maintained his +fingered beard.</p> +<p>Hands on her hips, Frances returned, “Wow, Mr. Luke, you sure are a crochety old man.” Luke continued to smile but returned his hands to his pockets as he walked.</p> +<hr/> <p>The Dragon’s Gorge now dominated the park before them. It presented itself as a gargantuan archway, appropriately guarded by two monstrous dragons on either side, each with a pair of glowing green eyes. The -archway itself spanned a large recess which showcased a diorama of -scenery and railways within. Occasionally, with a clatter and a scream -of surprise, a train full of passengers would careen around a corner and +archway itself spanned a large recess that showcased a diorama of +scenery and railways. Occasionally, with a clatter and a scream of +surprise, a train full of passengers would careen around a corner and then dip out of sight behind the next outcropping of faux rock.</p> <p>Luke’s pace quickened as he skipped ahead to the entrance. There -wasn’t much of a line and Frances was able to persuade Luke to wait with -her for an empty car. He could do with some fresh manners anyway, and -she didn’t much feel like sitting in the same seat as someone else. +wasn’t much of a line, and Frances was able to persuade Luke to wait +with her for an empty car. He could do with some fresh manners anyway, +and she didn’t much feel like sitting in the same seat as someone else. Literally.</p> <p>What couldn’t have been five minutes passed in silence before a brakeman guided an empty train car onto the staging lane. It was adorned with heart-shaped scrollwork and even more dragon heads, these ones -sticking their tongues out. Luke hopped into the back and Frances +sticking their tongues out. Luke hopped into the back, and Frances carefully stepped down into the wooden cart beside him.</p> -<p>A young couple, dressed down in casual wear, took their seats up -front. Once they were settled, the brakeman let loose the cart and they -began their rickety descent.</p> +<p>A young couple dressed in casual wear took their seats up front. Once +they were settled, the brakeman let loose the cart, and they began their +rickety descent.</p> <p>Frances’ stomach lurched as they rounded the first corner. She gasped as the train tilted back up a ramp and caught on a ratcheting lift. The <em>clank-clank</em> of the tracks drowned out any other noises the attraction may have been making as the train climbed higher and higher.</p> -<p>Out of the corner of her eye Frances caught the kid looking around, -trying it seemed to get a glimpse of what came next. His big, round eyes -put his circular face into a state of apparent worry. She immediately -regretted suggesting this. The Dragon’s Gorge? At his age he should -probably be on the teacup ride or something.</p> +<p>Out of the corner of her eye, Frances caught the kid looking around, +trying to get a glimpse of what came next. His big, round eyes put his +circular face into a state of apparent worry. She immediately regretted +suggesting this. The Dragon’s Gorge? At his age, he should probably be +on the teacup ride or something.</p> <p>She gripped the handlebars as they crested over the ramp, the train briefly floating before thunderously clanking its way down to the other -side straight into a narrow tunnel.</p> -<p>In the blink of an eye Frances found herself in a brightly lit scene, -the train clacking away and swerving left and right, eliciting gasps -from the couple ahead. All around was a carefully constructed miniature -Grand Canyon. At least, that’s what it looked like. There were dusty red -paper mache rocks forming a ridge high up above the tracks on both -sides. Down below the tracks a trickling blue river of dyed water -babbled in an artificial creek bed.</p> +side, straight into a narrow tunnel.</p> +<p>In the blink of an eye, Frances found herself in a brightly lit +scene, the train clacking away and swerving left and right, eliciting +gasps from the couple ahead. All around was a carefully constructed +miniature Grand Canyon. At least, that’s what it looked like. Dusty red +papier-mache rocks formed a ridge high above the tracks on both sides. +Down below the tracks, a trickling blue river of dyed water babbled in +an artificial creekbed.</p> <p>Up on one ridge was a makeshift teepee flagged by clotheslines of hanging pelts and a few large clay jars. On the other ridge sat six -taxidermied buzzards all packed together, staring down with eyeless, -beady faces at the passengers. As they trundled along, Frances +taxidermied buzzards, all packed together, staring down at the +passengers with eyeless, beaky faces. As they trundled along, Frances envisioned them hunched over, tearing into a bony, decrepit steer like in some picture show. She tried not to think of what may have become of her body, the one she occupied for what seemed like a much shorter stint -of life the more she pondered it. She felt parched in the artificial +of life, the more she pondered it. She felt parched in the artificial arid landscape.</p> -<p>Once or twice the brakeman yanked the lever, slowing the cart up with -a jerking sensation as they plunged into another tunnel. Luke slid +<p>Once or twice, the brakeman yanked the lever, slowing the cart up +with a jerking sensation as they plunged into another tunnel. Luke slid across the seat and was now sidled up to her, practically sitting on the -beads of her dress, as his hands tightly clasped the handlebar.</p> +beads of her dress, as his hands tightly clasped the handlebars.</p> <p>The tunnel slipped away, revealing cool blue hues and the shimmering reflection of water on the ceiling. It was relieving to fly away from -the desert so quickly, and Luke let out an audible “Aaah” as the forward -passengers sighed with some mixture of relief and amusement.</p> -<p>All around the train were a menagerie of marine life. Schools of fish +the desert so quickly, and Luke let out an audible “Aaah.” At the same +time, the forward passengers sighed with a mix of relief and +amusement.</p> +<p>All around the train was a menagerie of marine life. Schools of fish flitted this way and that on thin, complicated networks of wire. The dark blue rocks were speckled with purple corals, orange starfish, and wavy, shimmering green sea grass.</p> -<p>Twice Frances was sure the train was headed right for a rock face +<p>Twice, Frances was sure the train was headed right for a rockface (and once a large tuna) before the wheels thundered them out of the way -on a different course. The car rounded another corner and the scene +on a different course. The car rounded another corner, and the scene opened up even more, boasting a great expanse filled with larger -creatures. White ice sheets dotted the ceiling and chubby seals dove +creatures. White ice sheets dotted the ceiling, and chubby seals dove from them down through the air, disappearing around another rock with a mechanical click.</p> <p>She could have believed for a moment she was truly beneath the ocean -before the main attraction dominated the room: a panoramic view of the -oceanic backdrop was thrust a great undersea ship. It was coppery, -cigar-shaped, and decked out in portholes full of electric lights. The -Vernian craft elicited a “Captain Nemo!” from the kid, who turned to -Frances pointing at the vessel. Gasps of “ooh”s and “aah”s from the -other two passengers showed that at least on some level they were -impressed with this attraction.</p> -<p>She Frances didn’t want the scene to end. It actually felt sort of -peaceful. She could forget for a minute that she was anywhere else than +before the main attraction dominated the room: into the panoramic view +of the oceanic backdrop was thrust a great undersea ship. It was +coppery, cigar-shaped, and decked out in portholes full of electric +lights. The Vernian craft elicited a “Captain Nemo!” from the kid, who +turned to Frances and pointed at the vessel. Gasps of “ooh”s and “aah”s +from the other two passengers showed that, at least on some level, they +were impressed by this attraction.</p> +<p>She, Frances, didn’t want the scene to end. It actually felt sort of +peaceful. She could forget for a minute that she was anywhere other than settled quietly on the bottom of the sea, watching the fish go by. She -wondered whether when it was her turn she wouldn’t rather go walk the -beach and see just how many fish Luke and her could spot if they +wondered whether, when it was her turn, she wouldn’t rather go walk the +beach and see just how many fish Luke and she could spot if they wandered down into the Atlantic.</p> -<p>The next tunnel draped them in darkness all too quickly though, and -her stomach lurched before she was sure the cart was being lifted up by -another ramp, the tell-tale clattering of the track told her it had to +<p>The next tunnel draped them in darkness all too quickly, though, and +her stomach lurched before she was sure the cart was being lifted by +another ramp; the tell-tale clattering of the track told her it had to be.</p> -<p>The ramp was much shorter this time, as Frances counted the seconds +<p>The ramp was much shorter this time, as Frances counted the seconds, stopping short of the last ramp before the train stopped clanking and nosed down again. The tunnel forked hard to the left as the whole park -came back into view. From within the archway’s diorama the park looked -breath-taking. The yellow spots of warm light beaded every surface and -were a blur from their speed. Park goers down below stood up, some -waving at the train as it rolled along.</p> +came back into view. From within the archway’s diorama, the park looked +breathtaking. The yellow spots of warm light beaded every surface and +were a blur from their speed. Parkgoers below stood up, some waving at +the train as it rolled along.</p> <p>Luke gave a wave back, holding onto his cap and laughing gleefully as he shouted something nonsensical down between the dragon statues. It -seemed like a nice finale. If given the option Frances fancied she’d -like to get off and walk around some more. The brakeman pulled his lever -once or twice but made no effort to stop the ride. The train crested one -more ridge and then dove out of sight of the park into darkness -again.</p> +seemed like a nice finale. If given the option, Frances fancied getting +off and walking around some more. The brakeman pulled his lever once or +twice but made no effort to stop the ride. The train crested one more +ridge and then dove out of sight of the park into darkness again.</p> <p>With more darkness came more speed. The sickening twists and turns -became more jolting and jarring now. Frances couldn’t help but feel a +were now more jolting and jarring. Frances couldn’t help but feel a strange, familiar sensation. Plunged into darkness, lurching this way and that as a set of mechanical wheels beneath her skidded and slid -along, always on the edge of control. She felt her foot instinctively -applying pressure with her toes, feeling around for a brake pedal which -wasn’t there.</p> +along, always on the edge of control. She instinctively pressed her foot +down with her toes, feeling around for a brake pedal that wasn’t +there.</p> <p>Frances yelped as a sudden ramp tipped the cart back. Her gut lagged behind, stretching out forward with the train’s momentum as their speed was stolen away by the incline. Now the cart creaked along, crawling toward a bright orange-red glow at the end of the tunnel.</p> <p>Tantalizingly slow, the train emerged into a scarlet cavern illuminated by wrought-iron torches of open flame. The tracks rested on -a trestle over another river, much like the Grand Canyon but this one +a trestle over another river, much like the Grand Canyon, but this one burbled with thick, red lava. Or was it blood? Stalactites clung to the -ceiling above the rectangular cavern, and Frances wished she kept her -eyes fixed on them.</p> +ceiling above the rectangular cavern, and Frances wished she had kept +her eyes fixed on them.</p> <p>All around, the cave walls were pimpled with grotesque faces. Wretched mouths oozed pain from the slick rock below black eyes. Tears of thick red fluid seeped out of them. Frances felt herself clenching -the handlebar and holding her eyes shut tight like some scared little -girl. She forced them open gain and looked down into the river. It was +the handlebars and holding her eyes shut tight like some scared little +girl. She forced them open again and looked down into the river. It was occupied by a lone boatman in dark, tattered robes. He was posed in this -the scene with a gold coin in one bony palm, while the other hand -clutched a push pole.</p> +scene, a gold coin in one bony palm, the other hand clutching a push +pole.</p> <p>Horrible, grasping, and plaintive hands rose up out of the river and clung to the boat while the boatman looked on, featureless beneath his charcoal hood.</p> <p>On the other side of the seat, Luke began to shudder. His whole body -trembled and shook, and when Frances leaned over to check on him she saw -his face was wet. Streaks of slobbery boogers mixed with teardrops on -his cheeks and he made no attempt to lift his arm or wipe them away. +trembled, and when Frances leaned over to check on him, she saw that his +face was wet. Streaks of slobbery boogers mixed with teardrops on his +cheeks, and he made no attempt to lift his arm or wipe them away. <em>Oh, real great job, Frances.</em></p> <p>She balled up as much of her hem as she could and attempted to wipe Luke’s face with it. To her surprise, it seemed to actually work. She quickly wrapped her arm around Luke. He was unexpectedly cold to the -touch but he leaned into her while the train crept beneath the torch lit +touch, but he leaned into her while the train crept beneath the torchlit archway at the end of the cavern.</p> <p>To her relief, the train slowly clacked around one last soft turn and screeched to a halt at the end of the staging platform. Ahead, the young -lady was still still covering her eyes while her date laughed on. +lady was still covering her eyes while her date laughed on. <em>Ass</em>.</p> +<hr/> <p>Poor Luke was quiet, emitting only the occasional sniffle. She helped -him up and out of the car. Another go was definitely not what he needed -right now.</p> +him up and out of the car. Another go wasn't what he needed right +now.</p> <p>Frances walked him off away from the Dragon’s Gorge and down a grassy bank. It met a narrow river which meandered through the park. A myriad of little gondolas propelled by much friendlier-looking boatmen and -their push poles chauffeured guests around lily pads and beneath white, +their push poles chauffeured guests around lilypads and beneath white, heart-adorned bridges.</p> -<p>With no idea how to comfort Luke, she just said, “you know, I bet +<p>With no idea how to comfort Luke, she just said, “You know, I bet they take a whole day to change the light bulbs on that submarine. And the plumber probably has to wear galoshes just to work in the River Styx, what do you think about that?” Frances realized once again just how much she sucked with kids.</p> -<p>She laughed in a meager attempt to liven things up but it was no use. -The little boy remained silent, and just took a seat at a small cafe +<p>She laughed in a meager attempt to liven things up, but it was no +use. The little boy remained silent and just took a seat at a small cafe table and chairs a few feet up the bank. Frances felt cold creeping in again. She wrapped her arms around herself and just stared into the -rippling water, watching the ripples bounce of the beds of reeds and +rippling water, watching the agitation bounce off the beds of reeds and lily pads.</p> -<p>“Frances,” he asked timidly, “are we in hell?”</p> +<p>“Frances,” he asked timidly. “Are we in hell?”</p> <p>She couldn’t remember the last time she heard her name spoken. His -voice sounded so small. It sounded hurt and scared and forgotten, like -it might be buried and left behind for good. His words sent chills up -her spine, and she struggled to feel warm inside and out. She clutched -her dress tighter.</p> +voice sounded so small. It sounded hurt, scared, and forgotten, like it +might be buried and left behind for good. She clutched her dress tight +again.</p> <p>Frances chose her words carefully, but they still struggled to come -out. “Oh Luke, where did you get an idea like that?” She strode over, +out. “Oh, Luke, where did you get an idea like that?” She strode over, not quite sure how close to get.</p> <p>“Well, my momma taught me all about heaven. But this doesn’t seem -like it. I never figured on being cold or scared or bored in heaven. So -far as I can tell then this is, you know, the other place. But that ride -– that ride is what I thought it was supposed to be like.”</p> +like it. I never figured on being cold, scared, or bored in heaven. So +far as I can tell, then this is, you know, the other place. But that +ride—that ride is what I thought it was supposed to be like.”</p> <p>She smiled grimly and pulled out the other cafe chair to sit beside him. He certainly was an intelligent little boy after all, wasn’t he?</p> <p>“Luke, I don’t know much more than you do, but I know enough to be sure you aren’t in hell. And you shouldn’t say things like that. First -of all, as far I can see we’re still in Brooklyn, and there’s a lot of -folks around here who don’t strike me as the hellish type,” she paused -to let it sink in. Behind Luke’s troubled, gray eyes she suspected the -wheels were turning but he wasn’t quite believing her. Placing her -finger under his chin, she continued, “Second, you’re too good a boy to -go to hell.”</p> +of all, as far as I can see, we’re still in Brooklyn, and there’s a lot +of folks around here who don’t strike me as the hellish type,” she +paused to let it sink in. Behind Luke’s troubled, gray eyes, she +suspected the wheels were turning, but he wasn’t quite believing her. +Placing her finger under his chin, she continued, “Second, you’re too +good a boy to go to hell.”</p> <p>She brushed the dark bangs from her eyes and smiled again, as genuine a smile as she could muster. His round face still pursed with questions, -his eyes darting across the lines of her face looking for what she +his eyes darting across the lines of her face, looking for what she assumed was comfort, answers, or both.</p> <p>He started again, “But why then? Why are we here? When can we leave?”</p> @@ -553,9 +553,9 @@ maybe I really am a miserable person. Maybe I do deserve to be stuck here. But he hasn’t done a thing wrong to deserve this. To deserve landing with me.</em></p> <p>She patted him on the head awkwardly, as if he were her old spaniel, -and tried her best to comfort him. Then and there Frances had a new +and tried her best to comfort him. Then and there, Frances had a new goal, a reason to go on, do better, lift herself out of her funk. She -was going to do her damnedest to make Luke’s eternity just a little bit +was going to do her damndest to make Luke’s eternity just a little bit nicer, whatever that took. It didn’t matter how bad she wanted out of it, how bad she wanted to dance or run or dive into a bottle, she’d figure it out somehow.</p> @@ -572,18 +572,19 @@ around to the still-glowing white minarets of the park.</p> all we need is a band.”</p> <p>“You can sing!” he blurted.</p> <p>She was taken aback, swallowing and rubbing her hands together. -“Well, sure but I didn’t mean me. I mean, I’m not very good is all.”</p> -<p>“Oh it’s okay, I can plug my ears. Well there’s the boats too, but -they can’t hear us anyway.” At her hesitation and upturned eyebrows he -added, “C’mon, it’ll be great, it’s your dream right?”</p> +“Well, sure, but I didn’t mean me. I mean, I’m not very good, that’s +all.”</p> +<p>“Oh, it’s okay, I can plug my ears. Well, there’s the boats too, but +they can’t hear us anyway.” At her hesitation and upturned eyebrows, he +added, “C’mon, it’ll be great, it’s your dream, right?”</p> <p>A slight burning sensation behind the eyes unsettled Frances. She felt a twinge in her chest, and her nose felt a little runny. She did -her best to swallow it down but the result was just a ball of +her best to swallow it down, but the result was just a ball of butterflies rustling around in her gut as she stood up from her chair.</p> -<p>“Well, one song can’t hurt to get the party started eh?”</p> +<p>“Well, one song can’t hurt to get the party started, eh?”</p> <p>She bit her tongue and stepped gingerly away from the cafe tables, -closer to the water’s edge. Her hands trembled oh so slightly, but she +closer to the water’s edge. Her hands trembled oh-so-slightly, but she arrested them behind her back. She took a deep breath to steady herself and clumsily cleared her throat.</p> <p>Frances parted her lips and allowed the pent-up lyrics, her @@ -597,7 +598,7 @@ favorites, to spill out.</p> <em>And each kiss an inspiration</em></p> <p>The words felt strong, familiar, comforting, and warming. As she sang, Frances felt her lungs fill with air as if she hadn’t drawn breath -for days – weeks even. Her chest swelled and she felt compelled to push, +for days—weeks even. Her chest swelled, and she felt compelled to push, to show the melody out. She spun on her heels, arms out in the air, projecting the sweet verses.</p> <p><em>But, that was long ago</em><br /> @@ -608,7 +609,7 @@ projecting the sweet verses.</p> <em>The nightingale tells his fairy tale</em><br /> <em>Of paradise where roses grew</em></p> <p>Her feet firmly planted, the tremors gone from her fingers, wrists, -and arms, she belted the words. Each one complemented the last, the beat +and arms, she belted the words. Each one complemented the last; the beat was driving and buttery smooth. Frances felt a tingling on the back of her neck, an electric current goading her on and rejuvenating her. Now she clutched her arms close together again, softening the attack and @@ -620,9 +621,9 @@ infinitely more earnest.</p> <em>Though I dream in vain, in my heart it will remain</em><br /> <em>My stardust melody</em><br /> <em>The memory of love’s refrain</em></p> -<p>She was panting now, and looked around under the yellow light of the -park to see if anyone had heard. She shifted impatiently on her heels, -and almost automatically, gave a short curtsy.</p> +<p>She was panting now and looked around under the yellow light of the +park to see if anyone had heard. She shifted impatiently on her heels +and, almost automatically, gave a short curtsy.</p> <p>Luke ceaselessly clapped his hands together in his chair, so hard that it was rocking side to side on its uneven legs. Frances smiled, covering her teeth with one hand as he continued his applause with a @@ -650,10 +651,10 @@ smashed, boom!” and he kicked backward, tumbling over onto the grass, giggling as his cap flew off his head.</p> <p>His round face, the cap, and the amber glow of the lights all came crashing back onto Frances like wave after wave of shock. Her head felt -light and her face tingled, leaving a clammy and bloodless sensation. -She remembered the fuzzy, blind drunk dizzying sensation in her head. -She remembered instantly the foggy avenue and her dim headlights, the -lurching sensation as she struggled to maintain control.</p> +light, and her face tingled, leaving her feeling clammy and bloodless. +She remembered the fuzzy, blind, drunken, dizzying sensation in her +head. She remembered instantly the foggy avenue and her dim headlights, +the lurching sensation as she struggled to maintain control.</p> <p>She remembered the boy crossing the street.</p> <p>She cupped her hand over her mouth and knelt down in the grass. She felt sick, wretched even. Her pitiful end coming back to her in one @@ -661,34 +662,34 @@ single motion was more than she could hold back, and the tears burned their way out of her eyes while she gasped for air. Her sniveling came in spurts at first, before her breath hitched and kick-started a train of gasps and wails.</p> -<p>“Oh no, oh Luke–”</p> +<p>“Oh no, oh Luke—”</p> <p>Little Luke stood up from retrieving his cap and, upon seeing Frances -on the lawn sprinted over to her side. He put a small and on her +on the lawn, sprinted over to her side. He put a small hand on her shoulder and sort of patted her the way she had done earlier.</p> <p>“Hey, it’s okay, we don’t have to play that game. We can do something else.”</p> -<p>“No, it’s not that,” she gasped, “I just remembered how it happened. +<p>“No, it’s not that,” she gasped. “I just remembered how it happened. I’m pretty sure I know what happened to you, too.”</p> <p>His eyes widened. She tried to control her heaves for air, and in -between breaths she managed to get it all out.</p> +between breaths, she managed to get it all out.</p> <p>“You were right, I do miss parties. I used to sing at clubs. I’d get in the car with my friends, my boyfriend, and we would all go. I wasn’t a very happy person. The crowd didn’t always like how I sang, so I would -sit at the bar for a while. Dance a little, head to the next place and +sit at the bar for a while. Dance a little, head to the next place, and do it all over again.</p> -<p>“Well, one night I was singing. My date, he… Well, he ditched me. He -didn’t like how I sang either. So I closed the place out – I was really -sloshed. I got in my car and I started driving fast. Real fast. It was -foggy, I couldn’t really see. I– I hit a small child. A boy. I don’t +<p>“Well, one night I was singing. My date, he… well, he ditched me. He +didn’t like how I sang either. So I closed the place out—I was really +sloshed. I got in my car, and I started driving fast. Real fast. It was +foggy, I couldn’t really see. I—I hit a small child. A boy. I don’t remember anything after that.”</p> <p>Luke’s nose was running as he hiccuped, his eyes turning puffy and misty again.</p> -<p>“Luke, I am so, so sorry. Luke,” she stammered, “I’m the reason +<p>“Luke, I am so, so sorry. Luke,” she stammered. “I’m the reason you’re dead. I’m the reason we’re both here. I killed us.”</p> <p>His chest was heaving beneath his suspenders. Frances pulled him in -close, wrapping her arms around him and gasping for breath.</p> -<p>He mumbled into the sequined shoulder of her dress, “you mean you -died in a car crash? All alone? That’s so sad.”</p> +close, wrapping her arms around him and gasping for breath. He mumbled +into the sequined shoulder of her dress. “You mean you died in a car +crash? All alone? That’s so sad.”</p> <p><em>He can’t really be thinking of me. The miserable drunk who runs over kids?</em> She pulled away to look squarely in his puffy eyes, wiping her nose with her other hand as she did. “Luke, I did that to @@ -696,17 +697,17 @@ myself. But you didn’t deserve that. You’re a good person.”</p> <p>“So are you, you’re my friend. Nobody deserves to die like that.”</p> <p>Her chest still ached, tight with exertion and that burning, clenching sensation. She smiled anyway, straightening his cap. “Well,” -she sniffled, “it’s because of me you’re not gonna get to grow a beard. +she sniffled. “It’s because of me you’re not gonna get to grow a beard. I only hope one day I can make it up to you. I’m so sorry for what I did. I’ll never forgive myself.”</p> <p>“Oh, I forgive you!”</p> <p><em>He makes it sound so easy, like he doesn’t get it.</em></p> -<p>“Luke, I don’t think you understand–”</p> +<p>“Luke, I don’t think you understand—”</p> <p>“No, really, I forgive you. You didn’t mean to hurt me, I know that. -You were sad and lonely, you didn’t know what you were doing. But it’s -okay, friends forgive each other.”</p> +You were sad and lonely, and you didn’t know what you were doing. But +it’s okay, friends forgive each other.”</p> <p>He dove into her shoulder and embraced her again, his warm arms -wrapped around her neck tight. She closed her eyes and allowed herself +wrapped around her neck tightly. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to imagine a world where she might have met this little boy walking around the city, just passing by. Or darting between her and her friends around Coney Island, racing off to the next attraction.</p> @@ -717,46 +718,46 @@ arms, chin, and torso. She opened her eyes and saw she was bathed in white light. Not the incandescent strands dotting the park, but a hot glow.</p> <p>“Luke, look! Let go, Luke!”</p> -<p>She pushed him away and showed him his hands. The glowed with a -vibrant intensity, the light climbing up to spread from his fingertips -up his arms. He gaped, turning his hands this way and that to watch the +<p>She pushed him away and showed him his hands. The light glowed with +vibrant intensity, climbing up from his fingertips and spreading along +his arms. He gaped, turning his hands this way and that to watch the warm beams. Then he took a step back and checked the underside of his shoes as if he had stepped in something.</p> <p>“Frances!”</p> <p>His whole body was enveloped now; he looked like his whole body was wreathed in white-hot flame tinged in blue. She stared at him, mouth open, a flutter returning to her gut as she clasped her hands together. -Her breathing had calmed, the heaving in her chest ceased. All she felt -was Luke’s great subliminal warmth.</p> -<p>“Luke, what– how do you feel?”</p> -<p>“I feel great! I feel so warm,” he remarked before licking his lips, -“and I taste again. And smell again!”</p> -<p>She didn’t know what to think. Everything she saw defied thinking, no -rational logic or deduction or assumption could help her understand what +Her breathing had calmed, and the heaving in her chest ceased. All she +felt was Luke’s great subliminal warmth.</p> +<p>“Luke, what—how do you feel?”</p> +<p>“I feel great! I feel so warm,” he remarked before licking his lips. +“And I can taste again. And smell again!”</p> +<p>She didn’t know what to think. Everything she saw defied thought; no +rational logic, deduction, or assumption could help her understand what she was experiencing. But she did feel something, a clinging, overwhelming joy she couldn’t shake.</p> <p>“Luke, I think you get to go now,” she excitedly exclaimed as she took his little hands and shook them.</p> -<p>“I get to go?! Oh yippee, I get to go, I get to go!” he stamped and +<p>“I get to go? Oh yippee, I get to go, I get to go!” he stamped and jumped up and down in place, then quickly faltered. “Wait, what about you?”</p> <p>It was not lost on Frances that she was the same pale figure without -sensation that she had been. In her excitement this failed to bother +sensation that she had been. In her excitement, this failed to bother her, although now that she reflected on it, she decided she didn’t feel -that bad about it. She was glad, and confident that someone, somewhere +that bad about it. She was glad and confident that someone, somewhere, had made the right choice.</p> <p>“Oh, well, maybe it’s not my time yet. But don’t worry about me, I’ll -be alright. You’re gonna get to see some amazing things.”</p> +be alright. You’re gonna get to see some amazing things!”</p> <p>Despite her reassurance, he protested, “But I wanna see them with -you. Friends stick together. Besides, they gotta hear your singing in -heaven, you’d make a beautiful angel.” He paused, screwing his face -tight in thought again, before exclaiming, “I got it! I forgave you, so -you gotta forgive me back.”</p> +<em>you</em>. Friends stick together. Besides, they gotta hear your +singing in heaven, you’d make a beautiful angel.” He paused, screwing +his face tight in thought again, before exclaiming, “I got it! I forgave +you, so you gotta forgive me back.”</p> <p>“But you haven’t done a single wrong thing to me. You never hurt me.”</p> <p>“Well, maybe then you gotta forgive you too.”</p> <p>No, that wouldn’t do. Maybe Frances did deserve what she got. She -lived a pretty miserable life, she figured her afterlife ought to meet +lived a pretty miserable life; she figured her afterlife ought to meet expectations. She tried to assure him again by saying, “Luke, I don’t think it can work for me. You should go by yourself. You’re a brave boy, you’ll be alright.”</p> @@ -769,15 +770,15 @@ It wasn’t what she deserved. She couldn’t remember forgiving herself for much. She blamed herself for how her mother and father felt about her. Blamed herself when nobody liked her singing. Blamed herself when every boyfriend walked out on her. Heck, now she was guilty of running down a -child and she was downright positive that was worth blaming herself +child, and she was downright positive that was worth blaming herself over.</p> -<p>Luke hugged her tighter, little white and blue wisps floating off of -his shoulder and streaming up into the air around them.</p> +<p>Luke hugged her tighter, little white and blue wisps floating off his +shoulder and streaming up into the air around them.</p> <p>He’s a good kid. He’ll be happier once he’s with his people. More likely than not, Luna Park’s a whole lot better up there anyway. Maybe he could even grow a beard up there without having to be an old man. He -would understand one day. Some people were just bad and they didn’t get -to be redeemed, not by a few lousy roller coasters anyways.</p> +would understand one day. Some people were just bad, and they didn’t get +to be redeemed, not by a few lousy roller coasters anyway.</p> <p>The boy nestled his face into her hip, pushing into her and holding on even tighter. The wisps grew stronger now, little blue coronas shooting off like sparks from his hat and shoes.</p> @@ -788,27 +789,28 @@ flickering the warm light as she did. <em>Maybe I can do it as easily as he can.</em> She let her breath back out, allowing a shred of guilt to go with it.</p> <p>Luke’s warm light sparked and flickered once more. She lifted her -fingers from his cap to find her index and middle finger radiating a +fingers from his cap to find her index and middle fingers radiating a white gleam. The blue-tinged fiery luminescence climbed down her outstretched hand and flowed up her arm to her heart where an all-encompassing heat grew. It spread out through every vein, nerve, and pore of her consciousness, like her soul was wrapped in a freshly ironed -blanked.</p> +blanket.</p> <p>“You did it, you did it!” Luke looked up, beaming from ear to ear.</p> -<p>Suddenly Frances was aware her feet weren’t even touching the ground +<p>Suddenly, Frances was aware her feet weren’t even touching the ground anymore, as she and Luke hovered over a foot off the ground. She smiled -and laughed, and gestured frantically with her arms, “Luke we did it, +and laughed, and gestured frantically with her arms, “Luke, we did it, you did it! How can I ever thank you?”</p> <p>“It’s my turn, and tag, you’re it!” And quickly as he could, Luke began to doggie paddle through the air, climbing with every stroke such that he was now about twenty feet off the ground.</p> -<p>“Oh no, you don’t, I’m gonna get you!” Frances gave chase, back -stroking her way out over the river, paying no mind to the height as she -and Luke climbed far up over the lagoon, past the illuminated tower.</p> +<p>“Oh no, you don’t, I’m gonna get you!” Frances gave chase, +backstroking her way out over the river, paying no mind to the height as +she and Luke climbed far up over the lagoon, past the illuminated +tower.</p> <p>They took turns, invariably chasing each other through the night sky -on their journey. They paid no attention to the attractions of the park -and the returning parade of elephants. No more did they look to take in +on their journey. They paid no attention to the park’s attractions or +the returning parade of elephants. No more did they look to take in sights of the city’s skyline, or the indigo sky and its first burgundy rays of daylight. No living soul saw, or would ever be able to discern them from two twinkling bright candles, flickering once again each |